Seems like lately alot of "classic" books are being put down. People who reread them are saying that they are boring, slow reads, and they can't understand why they are a classic. So it got me wondering if maybe its not the books that have changed but rather the quality of reading people are doing nowadays. I mean has our standards of reading dropped over decades?

Before I go to bed...

( You and me could write a bad romance. )

Doot doot doot, why yes, I do have too much time on my hands.  Boo, I'm too tired to finish the one involving sparkle-kittens right now.

>_>

( Holy mental non-sequitur, Batman! )
Thanks, Andy Garcia Voiceover!

Distance fails on a number of levels.

It is the story of Meg and Tom, a professional couple in their late 30s who share a passionate week in New York and fall in love. When Tom returns home to Edinburgh they decide to embark on a long distance relationship. The plan is that in a couple of months, Meg will fly out to Edinburgh to take the relationship further. Meanwhile, they have to grapple with time-zones and the like. Tom works for an Edinburgh ad agency and drinks too much. He is divorced with a 10-year old son and enjoys a friends-with-benefits relationship with Morna, whose son is best friends with his lad. Meg is a script doctor with aspirations to become a screenwriter. After Tom leaves she spends a lot of time recalling the week with him, writing in her journal and looking over an abandoned screenplay she had written about her history of serial dating disasters.

The couple are both extremely needy, seeming not to be able to go more than an hour without texting, emailing or talking to one another on their mobiles. If they are out of contact for any period of time it is a signal for all kinds of doubt and anxiety. OK, if this had been an angst-filled teen drama I might have been more sympathetic to this kind of insecurity but these two are were supposed to be mature adults. Maybe it is a reflection of modern relationships that I've just not experienced and thank goodness for that!

There are a number of sex scenes in the book as the couple engage in phone and cyber-sex as well as recollections of their week together. I didn't find these erotic, more furtive and somewhat grubby. Even though overall the book counted as a 'fail' for me, there were a few aspects that I did enjoy including the references to popular culture, or when Tom's son suggests he experience Second Life or his misadventures with a new mobile phone whose predictive text function completely messes with his head and results with his accidentally sending a series of bizarre messages to Meg. Still these were little flashes of enjoyment in a hard slog through 400+ pages.

Despite the fact that critical reviews for this novel seemed to think it was the best thing since sliced bread, I found it annoying and dull with a pair of central characters who were completely self-absorbed and unsympathetic. I just wasn't interested in their relationship and whether it succeeded or not. I guess it was meant to be edgy and post-modern a la writers like Irvine Welsh, who the author obviously idolised as Tom mentions him and his work often. The critics' praise for Morrison didn't sway me, I found it a mess. So glad I didn't buy a copy.

So why did I bother reading it? Well, it was a selection for one of my reading groups and I felt that in order to discuss it I needed to give it a chance. Overwhelmingly this novel received a 'thumbs down' from the group with only one member giving it a half-way thumb.

Fuck, you have no idea how glad I'll be when this election is over. Today? I get a helpful card that apparently makes voting easier, only it doesn't explain how or why, just without it "voting may take longer." In the past, getting ticked off from the electoral role took all of five minutes. Voting has always been quick and painless. What the fuck.

Added fail is that it's taken until two days before the election to get any information about the candidates for various areas out there. There's virtually nothing on the internet, so looking up what people are for/against is impossible, and the general feeling I get is that nobody knows who's running for what, where, and why we should even vote for them in the first place.

The commercials have been ridiculous with the smear campaigns on both sides all "These people are bad! You should feel bad for wanting to vote them back in!" and not actually telling us anything about what they actually stand for. Well, the Liberals are trying, but the wording is all ballsed up -- as it stands, Ms Redmond is totally for government corruption. That's awesome.

Jesus Christ, we're in the information age, and people who are voting are in a position to actually be the most informed about their choices, but there's nothing out there to help us form opinions and therefore make a decision that's better for us. Great going, politics.

I don't think I've been so bitter about an election since 2006. To think, there's a federal one later in the year. Joy!

In happier news: Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie are teaming up to tour the US and parts of Canada. I really hope they come to Oz, because FML Alice Cooper was totally amazing even when nearly dead from plague (er, me not him). I will find a way to fly to the eastern states if necessary for a Cooper/Zombie collaboration. (omg, Hands of Death live *__*)

And Massive Attack general admission tickets have dropped $30 in price. I am running into the city tomorrow to get one. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SELF!


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A quick word: if you're going to work off a WIP that maaayyy be longer than 3,000 words SHH DON'T TELL US. Otherwise we'll be sending you a polite note of "la la la we're going to pretend we didn't see that."

BUT GO JOIN THE FUN!

>:(

EDIT: Oh yeah, double the irony -- the Labour candidate for Unley's campaign HQ is directly across the road from me. Other than knowing she's the Labour candidate for Unley, I have no clue as to what she's about. Not that it matters, because this ain't my electorate. :P

This is the first book I've given up on in years.

( Reasons under the cut )

I wanted something good to read, because the critics had praised it as--oh, let me find it--"monstrously brilliant."

Um, no.





Quote lifted from: http://www.infinityplus.co.uk/stories/vellum.htm, retrieved March 17, 2010

Interesting take on book fails.
http://io9.com/5494930/have-you-ever-hated-a-book-then-come-back-to-it-later-and-loved-it

Look forward to seeing responses.

~E

Hello everyone,

I've just joined lkh_lashouts after being directed here from Amazon. I've been lurking the past couple of days and laughed myself silly over the bookflogs, snarking and realisation that I am not alone in head-desking in the presence of such blatant cruelty to the common comma, the crotch of doom and über lack of series consistency or plot.

Of the many, many things that has annoyed me is the condescending attitude of the author to her readers. I don't honestly know why this should irritate me more than the racist, homophobic, misanthropic rants that have replaced any semblance of a plot in her books but it does.

The "this" in question is contained in the following youtube vid of a Q&A session. In particular, at 5.25 she talks about the difference between European and American fans.

www.youtube.com/watch

I'll summarise in case you don't want to use to brain bleach and watch said vid. She states that Americans find the sex offensive and Europeans find the violence offensive. O___o
Me thinks not. Me begs, wholeheartedly, to differ in fact.

1. Europe is not one country. We have many...more than 20 even.
2. European is not an ethnic group.
3. If we are going to pander to ignorance stereotypes, I would, in fact, say that Europeans *sweeping generalisation alert* are less hung up about sex and so have an even more fine tuned appreciation of what is good sex. Let me tell you Laurita, boring stereotypical teenage boy multiple partner/penetration porn fantasies, of the "oh my god you are so tight, so wet, fück me now-uggity uggg*  type, are not good sex, and certainly not erotica.

I, a bona fide European, started reading the books due to the supernatural murder-crime whodunit factor. Yes really.

Finally I find the anti-Germanic hatred very insulting. FYI tall, blonde, WASP-ness is....*drum roll please* a sociological and cultural ethnonymn that originated in the US and Canada and is used to refer to Americans of Northwestern Europe. /ends wikipedia quote

It is not a goddamn ethnic group. Forget the Aryan mythology, it does not exist. Germany is not populated by predominantly tall, blonde, white god-like creatures.

Gosh that feels better.

I thought it was poor at best.

A young woman is kidnapped by bad vampires for no real reason,
escapes with a good vampire,
goes back to her life almost as if nothing happened,
cheats on her boyfriend with the vampire I mentioned earlier,

oh and she's magic, which isn't allowed the book world, but she doesn't get punished because everyone in the government is magic too.


There are a lot of loose ends as well.

I read a lot of YA, so I come across a lot of fail. (Though that goes for every genre I try)

House of NIght by P.C. and Kristen Cast - Horrible writing, annoying protagonist, a cast made up of tokens, stupid vampire twist, and the awesomeness of paganism shoved down our throats.

Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow - The protagonist is a raging bitch to everyone, especially her two potential love interests, and by way of Luke I Am Your Grandfather seems to be going in the Mary Sue direction.

Need by Carrie Jones - Like Twilight, but with fairies. Only the fairies are villains. A werewolf is actually the love interest.

Wake by Lisa McMann - I'll post more about it when I get around to reviewing it. Boring tripe that seems to be a setup for future books. Flat characters, and the author writes in fragments in order to be "edgy."

Bleeding Violet by Dia Reeves - Interesting idea, poor execution. I found it too boring to finish.

Fallen by Lauren Kate - The protagonist sees Love Interest. Love Interest says he hates her. Protagonist begins stalking love interest because she's sure she knew him in a past life. Protagonist was right, she and Love Interest have been running into each other every 17 years, and each time they fall in love, she dies. Apparently  being eternal star crossed lovers means you don't need to have any chemistry and totally excuses stalking.

Here's a quick lesson on how to make me actively dislike a book. Just for instance, if the heroine spends some time going "I don't need a man to be happy, I'm going to accomplish my goals instead because they're what matter most to me!" (Because seeing the ocean is more important than being in love, dontchaknow) And then the narrative is still all about who's boning who and not about getting shit done, like, make up your mind book.

Anyway, forget all about the zombies and the nun-Nazis, this book is all about a love quadrangle. Now, I know some of you are trying to be authors, so let me give you a word of advice. Don't write love quadrangles. Lost is one of the best shows on TV. They did a love quadrangle between Jack, Sawyer, Kate, and Juliet (in which just about every possible combination hooked up except for Kate and Juliet, darn the luck). FANS HATED IT.

Battlestar Galactica, another of the best shows on TV. Love quadrangle between Lee, Kara, Dee, and Sam. FANS HATED IT.

So before you write a love quadrangle, find a case where it was done well and copy off them, because right now, the odds are against you. I think it's that with a quadrangle, the odds are just too low to care. Say things don't work out with Kate and Sawyer. Gee, I guess she'll be stuck with that troll Jack. How horrid. What single sin could a woman commit in one lifetime to earn such a fate?

Anyway, the love quadrangle in Forest, I just couldn't buy. It just seemed so obviously contrived for maximum angst that I didn't buy into it. It belongs in a soap opera. Check this shit:

Okay, Mary is in love with Travis, but engaged to be married to his brother Harry. Mary's best friend Cass is in love with Harry (who is in love with Mary), but engaged to be married to Travis. Oh, and Harry and Travis's sister is married to Jed, who is Mary's brother.


"Everybody got that?"

It just made me wish that everyone would be fucking adults and talk this shit out instead of "oh heart! oh ag-oo-ney!"

Okay, so I guess the epic romance's not for me. But the thing is, the book misrepresents itself. While it's getting this convoluted un-orgy into play, it brings up all these plot points and mysteries that you think are going to pay off later, but they never do! Ooh, a girl from the outside world, mysterious! Ooh, the nun-Nazis are conducting experiments on people, creepy! What the hey, one of the zombies is fast and smart!?

Okay, so what's up with that?

...

Book? Hello? Look, I didn't bring this up, you did. Was it just to eat up pages while you tried to get me to care about the characters? Does it have no bearing at all on the plot? Is it just a bunch of spackle you've thrown at the story to force it along?

Look, I don't insist everything be explained. Romero never explained why the dead were rising, so as far as I'm concerned, no zombie movie has to explain its apocalypse if it doesn't want to... but if you make a point of it, then you have to follow through.

You say maybe they're going to explain it in a sequel, but I don't really see a need for the sequel (apparently the author agrees, as Wikipedia says the sequel focuses on the daughter of one of the characters). By the end of the book, all the character arcs are done, the journey is over, there's no cliffhanger, no Darth Vader escaping to fight another day. It'd be like if on Lost, all the characters got off the island, and then they said "Tune in next season for us to explain what was up with that bird that said Hurley's name." Why can't you integrate the revelations about your world-building with the fates of the characters? That's Storytelling 101.

Really now, EVIL NUNS EXPERIMENTING ON THE UNDEAD. I don't care how girly you are, Carrie Ryan, you're still writing a zombie book and there's no way I'm going to care more about who cashes in the protagonist's V-card than I am about the mad scientist nuns.

 First of, I want to say that as a whole, Ash doesn't fail completely. The basic idea is that it's a remix of Cinderella but instead of "modernizing it" Melinda Lo actually tried to stay close to the historical traditions of fairy tale while still making the book substantial and character driven. The one major twist to the story is that Cinderella might end up hooking up with a lady instead of a prince. (This is not considered spoiler as it was the major point that was used to sale the book everywhere.)

But there's a few thing that made me want to trough the book at my wall. 

First of, I think women rocks. We should have the same right as men. We accomplish great things... But good lord we're not saints!  Other then the necessary Step mother, every female figure in that book was either positive, good, and helpful while most of the men were either passive, stupid, jaded or barbaric (or a mix of it all). It annoyed the crap out of me.

Secondly, the whole faith thing. In the book there's the people who believe in fairies and people who don't. Anyone who doesn't usually is a bastard. The more faith they have the more good the characters are. In the book, fairies are actually canon and real in that universe, that's fine with me, but marking anyone who deny their existence as "bad" or "so-so" characters was just plain annoying. It made me feel like the book was trying to force-feed faith down my throat. 

Thirdly, I get that the author likes anthropology, but if it wasn't for the possible girl/girl thing, I would have given up because of all the endless texts explaining the world. What is the saying "show instead of telling?" It doesn't help that most of it was useless to the story and not very interesting.

Finally: the ending. This is spoilers free. I just don't get how about that takes so much time developing a story would just rush in the last few chapters to fix everything up like that. It felt forced and a bit to "convenient." 

I did like how Melinda Lo approached mourning, it felt very close to what I have gone trough myself, and other people have told me. The writing style was actually pretty nice and the story was interesting when it wasn't focusing on the useless info. I loved that Ash was pretty 3D and that she was a strong main character. It had a lot of potential. Sadly, the spin off that is supposed to come from that book is said to focus even more on civilization of the universe and it's history, which where the bits i found the most boring and dry. Oh well.

Obviously we all know Twilight sucks. So I won't claim that one.

ANYWAY I will say "The Vampire Diaries" Series by L.J. Smith. Sooooooooooooooooo horrible.

That is all.

( Holy mental non-sequitur, Batman! )
Thanks, Andy Garcia Voiceover!

Failed YA books: Almost all the vampire ones that have spewed out since Twilight, since they're all just recycled plots/characters.

Also, Mortal Instruments. And Hush Hush. :P

In amongst all the campaign crap for this weekend's election was a most unexpectedly awesome surprise:

( The beast howls in my veins. )

I can't even! HEE!

Heyyyy people, if you'd like this sorta surprise (albeit in electronic form):

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8D 8D 8D

Remember when I asked y'all if you were interested in an original fiction Big Bang? The response was so overwhelmingly positive, I think my heart swelled a couple of sizes. So guess what?

originalbigbang is here!

Sign-ups for everything are open! Writers, artists, fanmixers, betas, we want you! Not any of those things? Hey, we have omgwtfofbb for a support comm. Every little bit helps.  If you'd like to know more, check out the welcome post and our FAQ! Help spread the word!

Ahhh! We have a bouncing baby Big Bang on our hands and we want it to be the best it can be!  October is going to rock so hard. We may have to rename it Rocktober just to handle it.

\o/

"...my imagination turning around, what a sensation...I want more..."

Via nerdfury: The most explanatory painting in human history.



naomi_jay needs this in her life, post-haste. We should buy steal it for her.

Somewhere, Superman is quietly despairing about why, Bruce? Why you do this? and that he might catch a cold or get water in his ear.  I maintain that Batman doesn't need a lightsaber to fight a shark, but he probably just wanted to try the lightsaber out while opening a can of tuna and oh look, this is what happened.

Also, there should be Bruce Wayne/Lara Croft fics, like, everywhere.

You know, I was trying to go for one day without posting about Batman. Um.

Hey, everyone, have you seen the sneak peek at the Predators movie? It looks badass. Morpheus! Adrien Brody (shut the hell up, he can too do an action movie - at least we know the guy can act, so there's a chance his character will not be an amalgum of one-liners and blowing shit up)! Michelle Rodriguez (om nom nom)! PREDATORS!

Umm, what else? I have a plot for a werewolf superhero that fights crime, she's cursed to be a werewolf! She will meet an actualfax werewolf and be all confused but enamoured! They may be named Beatrice and Lux and go to parties as the Big Bad Wolf and Red Riding Hood, respectively.

XD